Best Hindi Jokes 2016

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1.In1980, IDBI bank rejectd loan of AMBANI..
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In 2012 Mukesh Ambani was planing 2 buy IDBI..
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This shows nothing is impossible.
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Yesterday SBI Rejected my loan..
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na na maaf karne ka to sawal hi nahi hota.

2.ek baar aadmi ne bhagwan se kaha,

“aapne aurat ko itna sundar kyon banaya hai?”

Bhagwan bole,”taki tum unse pyaar kar sako.”

Aadmi bola, “ to phir unhe itna bevkoof kyon banaya hai?”

bhagwan ne jawab diya, “taki wo tumse pyaar kar sake.”

3.Wife - Yeh Babaji ka Thullu kya hai.

Husband - Tumne peechle Diwali kya Gift maanga tha.

Wife - Diamond Necklace

Husband - Ab tak kya mila

Wife - Kuch nahi

Husband - This is Babaji ka Thullu

4.While everyone else are busy sharing their "BBM PINS", Nokia users are still looking for.....

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"PATLI PIN"

5.Mukesh Ambani:" Agar main subah se apni car me niklu to sham tak apni aadhi property bhi nahi dekh sakta,

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Pappu:" Hamare paas bhi aisi khatara car thi, Bech di...

6.1 ladki k paas ek unknown

call aayi..
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Ladka:"do u have a bf.. ??
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Ladki:"yes... b ut who are
u.. ??
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Ladka:"tera bhai.. ruk ghar aa k batata hu..
After few second once again unknown call
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Ladka:"do u have a bf.. ??
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Ladki:"no i dont..
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Ladka:"to mai kon hu.. ??
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Ladki:"ohh sorry jaanu maine socha bhai hai..
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Ladka:"mai bhai hi hu....
"bas aaj to tu gayi....

7.Santa : Is mirror ki kya keemat he??

SHOPKEEPER : Rs.1000 !

Santa : ohh.. bahut mehnga he..
kya isko koi khas baat he??

SHOPKEEPER: aap isko 100 floor se niche girao
ye mirror 99 floor tak nai tutega...

Santa : Wow.. PACK kardo !!!

8.Advocate-talaak karvane ke 5000 lagenge

.Husbund- pagal ho kya? Panditji ne 51 mein shadi karayi thi.

Advocate- to saale dekh liya na
saste kaam ka natija

9.A little boy was doing maths homework, 

saying to himself, 2+5 the son of bitch is 7,

3+6 the son of bitch is 9

His mother heared this & asked "what r u doing ?"

Boy : doing my maths homework.

Mom : & this is how ur teacher taught u ?

Boy : Yes

Infurriated mother called the teacher : R u teaching maths to children

by saying 2+2, the son of bitch is 4 ?

Teachr started laughing & answerd : what I taught them was, 2+2 THE SUM OF WHICH IS 4.... .

Moral : aur padhao punjabi bachyan nu English Medium..

10.Gutthi To Her Mother-in-Law - Maaji..

kal raat meri unse ladaai ho gayi
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Saas - Koi baat nahi
Ye to pati patni ke beech hota hi hai
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Gutthi-Wo to thik hai par ab laash Ka kya Karu? XD

11.Self Protection with heavy Flirt:

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Teacher : Why are u sleeping in the class ?
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Student : Your voice is so sweet thats why i am getting sleep.
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Teacher : Then why other students are not sleeping ?
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Student : They aren't listening to u mam..!

12.Girl : Aaj mere dad ne mjhe tumhare

Sath bike pe jate huay dekh liya..

Boy : oohh !! kia bole wo??
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Girl : Bas wohi hua jis ka dar Tha.

Bus ka kiraya wapis le liya.

Humari Family boht strict hai na !!!

13.Extremes :

Extreme fashion..??
Dhoti with zip.

Extreme secrecy..??
Blank Visiting Card

Extreme Stupidity..??
Looking through keyhole of a glass door

Extreme kanjusi..??
A person after accident lying on the road giving misscalls to 108

Extreme lie..??
An African taking bath & singing 'Paani mein jale mera gora badan'

And Extreme injustice..??
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14.Awaara ladko se jyada

kismat wale to Gali k kutte
hote hai
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kam se kam ladki
palat palat k dekhti toh hai, aa raha hai kya 

15.Titan to Rolex

Titan : Tu bhi waqt batata hai,

mein bhi waqt batata hu,

lekin phir bhi teri izzat zyada kyu hai ??

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Rolex : Dost Tu insaan ko waqt batata hai Aur mein...

" Insaan Ka Waqt " Batata hu...

16. Boss: Aapki shadi ho gayi.. ??

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Pappu: Haanji, 1 ladki se hui hai..
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Boss: Shaadi to ladki se hi hoti hai..
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Pappu: Naa ji meri behan ki to
ladke se hui hai...

17. Kapil In College..

Professor:" Agar tumhare paas 2 option ho ke
tum kis ke Saath Date Par Jaana Chahoge?
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20 saal ki ladki ya tumse 20 saal badi aurat.. ??
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Kapil:" Sir Depend karta hai ki kaun jyada khubsurat
hai, Aapki Beti ya aapki Biwi... 

Kapil Rock - Professor Shock..

18.Kya Aap Jaante Hain INDIA Musibat Me Kyun Hai ?

121 Crore Ki Population Me

9 Crore Retire Hai....

35 Crore State Govt Me Hai.

18 Crore Central Govt Me Hai.

25 Crore School Me Hai
(Jo Kaam Nahi Karte)

1 Crore Ki Umar 5 Saal Se Kam Hai.

31 Crore Berozgaar Hain.

1.2 Crore Hospital Me Hai.

79,99,998 Lakh Jail Me Hai.

Baaki Bache 2...

Main aur Aap

AAP Ka To Pura Time Meri Posts

Padhne Me Nikal Jaata Hai..
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Ab Bataao ?
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Main Akele INDIA Ko Kaise Sambhalu

19.Bhagwan ne mujhse kaha ki Tu apna 1 pyara dost chhod de main tujhe "mobile" dunga..

2 ko chhod de to "Rolex" ki ghadi dunga..

5 ko chhod de "25 lakh Rupaiya" dunga..

Aur Sabhi dosto ko chhod de to "Ferrari" dunga..
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Maine Bhagwan ko dekha aur kaha ki,

Hey Bhagwan..!!!
Ye dost wo hai jinhone meri har khushi har gam me sath diya..

Mere bachpan se lekar aaj tak mere sath rahe..

Kabhi main roya to apne hatho se mere ansu pochhe..

Ek glass pani bhi piya to bhi mere sath share kiya..

Meri ek awaz par daude chale aaye..

Aur aap kehte ho ki me ek "FERRARI" ke liye inhe chhod du..???

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KHAIR, Koi baat nahi..

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Lekin "FERRARI" Red color ki hi dena..

20. Biggest jokes on Doctor (Old but ever green )

Doctor : Agar aap patient ko ek ghante pehle le aate to hum ise bacha sakte the !!!

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Relative of patient : EK ghante pehle kya ghanta le aate,

accident to sala 20 min pehle hua hai..!