Best Joke Ever (Top. 50 Hindi ) 2018

Top Fifty Jokes By Oye! ek Joke Sunau

          
TOP 100 HINDI JOKES 2018 (NEW)

TOP 100 Funny Images 2018 (New*)



1. bbhai behen bichadne ka kya hua anjaam ??
Dnt say wah wah Plz feel the pain ... (o_O )
bhai behen bichadne ka kya hua anjam ??
MUNNA bana MBBS aur MUNNI hui badnaam..

 

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2.An old Indian women slips on ice

an falls..
She cries.. "Hai meri kismat"..
A gora walks past and says..
"Hi merry christmas to u Too".X_X

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3. Sardar picnic par gaye whan ja kar yaad aaya ke pepsi to ghar bhul gaye.
Decide kia ke sab se chhota sardar ja kar Pepsi le aaye,
Sardar: Main is shart par jata hu ke tum mere ane tak smose nahi khaoge.
Dono ne kaha thik hai.
1 din guzar gaya sardar nahi aaya.
2 din guzar gaye.
Dono ne socha ke ab samose kha lene chahiye.
Jaise hi smosa uthaya chota sardar ped ke peechhe se nikal k bola. "AISE KAROGE TO MAIN NAHI JAAUNGA"

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4. Pappu’s Atittude In Exams.

They Give Me Questions Which I Don’t Know.

So………………

I Give Them Answers Which They Don’t Know.

Why???

“Tit For Tat“

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5. Santa: Yaar answer sheet par sabse pehle kya likhu?

Banta: Yehi ki is answer sheet par likhe gaye sabhi answers kalpnik hain jinka kisi bhi book se koi smbandh nahi hai.

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6. Teacher : Google is a girl or a boy..?
..
..
..
Student: Google is a Girl.....because it won't let you complete
the whole sentence and start guessing, suggesting.....and
you ask only one question.....
but get hundreds of irrelevant answers in seconds...

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7. A muslim girl wearing a burka was going on the road.

The boy going just behind the girl said,"Rafta Rafta dekho aankh jisse ladhi hain."

Girl Replied,"Aankh Jisse ladhi, tere baap se bhi badhi hain

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8. Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog!

Banta: Oh! That’s terrible.

Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions.

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9. A boy said
I Love U to a girl
Bt
Girl replied
Sorry i lv someone else

The boy in sad mood looked
at d girl & said

"Batau tere baap ko?" ;-) :D

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TOP 100 HINDI JOKES 2018 (NEW)

TOP 100 Funny Images 2018 (New*)

10. Question: "How to Kill an Ant??"

Asked in an Exam for 10 Marks!!

Student:
Mix Chilli Powder with Sugar,
& keep It Outside the Ant's Hole..!

After eating, Ant will Search for
some Water near a Water tank.Push ant in to it.. =!!

Now Ant will go to Dry itself Near Fire,

When it Reaches fire, Put a Bomb into D fire..!!

Then Admit Wounded Ant in ICU..!! =O

And Then Remove Oxygen Mask from it's Mouth and Kill the Ant.. !!

=|

MORAL:
Don't Play with Students.. !!
They can Do any thing for 15 Marks..
=D =P

TOP 100 HINDI JOKES 2018 (NEW) 

TOP 100 Funny Images 2018 (New*)

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11. Saari Raat guzar jaati hai bas isi Kashmakash me ki
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ye saali rajaai me hawa kidhar se ghus rahi hai... :

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12. Old Generation:

"Neki kar, Dariya mein daal"
.
.
.
New Generation:
"Kuch bhi kar, Facebook pe daal"

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13. year old boy:

i love you mom!

mom: awwww..
i love u too Son!
...
16 year old boy:
i love u mom!

mom: sorry,
i have no money :D

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14. Why girls live longer than boys????

.
.
.
.
.
.
Scientific studies have proved that
.
.
.
"SHOPPING"
never causes HEART ATTACKS, but,
.
.
"PAYING the "BILLS" does :):D

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15. Girlfriend setting password

for her laptop with
boyfriend sitting beside
her…

She types “BRAIN” as

password.
Boyfriend fell down of his
chair , laughing
Bcoz
Laptop replied:“TOO SMALL

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16. Santa n Banta were watching a cricket match. 

When Dhoni hits a boundary. 

Banta: Kya Goal mara. 

Santa: Raha Na bewakoof ka bewakoof, Goal is mein nahin cricket mein hota hai

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17. Gl- can i sit here?

Boy- it all urs...:)

Gl- can i tk some water?
Boy- my plsr...:)
...
Gl- Bhaiya agla station konsa hai?
.

Boy- mere baap ne mere dimag me koi GPS fit nhi kiya hai ,jaldi seat khali ker mujhe neend a rahi hai ......... :P :P :P :D :/

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18. Two terrorists having discussion in a bar.

The waiter asks them what the discussion was about?

Terrorist :- We are planning to kill 14 thousand people and a donkey..

Waiter :- Why a donkey?

Then one terrorist says to the other,
"See I told you nobody will care about the 14 thousand people".

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19. Gabbar: Kitne admi they?

Sambha: Sardar 2
Gabbar: Mujhe ginti nahin aati, 2 kitne hote hain?
Samba: Sardar 2, 1 ke baad aata hai
Gabbar: Aur 2 se pehle?
Samba: 2 se pehle 1 aata hai.
Gabbar: To beech mein kaun ata hai?
Samba: Beech mein koi nahi aata
Gabbar:: To phir dono ek saath kyun nahin aate?
Samba: 1 k baad hi 2 aa sakta hai, kyun ki 2, 1 se bada hai.
Gabar: 2, 1 se kitna bada hai?
Samba: 2, 1 se 1 bada hai.
Gabbar: Agar 2, 1 se 1 bada hai to 1, 1 se kitna bada hai?
Samnba: Sardar maine aapka namak khaya hai, mujhe goli maar do :-D :-P :-)

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TOP 100 HINDI JOKES 2018 (NEW)

TOP 100 Funny Images 2018 (New*)

20. Husband Biwi Se:

Pani Pila Do ...
Biwi :- Kya! ,Pyaas Lagi Hai ??
..
... ..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Husband (Gussey se):
"Nahi"Gala Check Karna Hai
Kahin se"LEAK"to Nahi Hai =P xD

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21. Height of Facebook update :

A newly born baby's status

"Thanks God!
...
Got delivered successfully."

At- Apollo hospital, Bangalore.

With

Suresh, Ramesh, Sonu, Moni and my girl friend Sonam. O.o

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22. When aryabhatta checked my papers, 

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
he invented zero:-P

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23. Maine 1 Ladki se puchha:
Tum facebook use karti ho ??
.
.
.
... .
.
.
.
.
.
Ladki: Nahi, Main Facewash use krti
hoon :D :P

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24. Ye baat sun kar Mere haathon se Gol Gappa hi

gir gya
.
.
.
... .
.
.
.
.
.
jab gol gappe wala bola
"Please give your feedback on Our Facebook
Page" :-P

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25. Teacher: Beta batao Parle G kepacket pe jo Green dot banahai uska matlab kya hai?

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Baccha-'mam iska matlab Parle G online baithe hain..

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26. Bird asked a bee, u work so hard 2 get honey n people steal. dont u feel sad?

Bee-no,coz they can never steal my art of making honey.

Moral:
... Insaan kya.....
kutta, billi, makkhi, jisko dekho wo aajkal philosphy jhaad raha hai....:D :P :p

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27. Bird asked a bee, u work so hard 2 get honey n people steal. dont u feel sad?

Bee-no,coz they can never steal my art of making honey.

Moral:
... Insaan kya.....
kutta, billi, makkhi, jisko dekho wo aajkal philosphy jhaad raha hai....:D :P :p

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28. A child prayed to god for a cycle

he didnt get.......:(
next he goes to mandir n stole's ganesh ji's statue
N wrote a letter to shivji agar bacha chahye toh mandir k peeche cycle le k ajao....

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29. Santa to banta: Yaar koi aisa valentine gift bataa jo seedha teri bhabi ke dil per lage,

.
... .
.
.
.
.
.
.
Banta: Goli maar de :D

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TOP 100 HINDI JOKES 2018 (NEW)

TOP 100 Funny Images 2018 (New*)

30. Girlfriend: I Am Going To Marry
Someone Else, Forget Me
Forever !!
Funny Boyfriend:
.
.
.
.
.
Naa Tere Aane Ki Khushi,
Na
Tere Jaane Ka Gam,
Jaao Bahen Jao Jee Lo Apni Zindagi,
Doosri Pata Leinge Hum

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31. Teacher: ‘3 idiots’ film dehknay ke baad aap ko kya lesson mila? Pap

pu: miss yehi ki..Enginering padh kar bhi medical ki ladki fasai ja sak
ti hai :D . .

Miss: shut up & get out. 
Babloo: miss mein bataon..? 
Miss: very good, batao.. 
Babloo: miss college ke 1st day Underwear zaroor pehna chahiye :D . .
.
Miss: u also get out. 
Shamu: miss mein bataon..?
Miss: i think u are a brilliant student.. tum sahi batao gay.. .
Shamu :miss doctor ke elawa Engineer bhi delivery kar sakta hai. :- D:-
D Miss: u also get out. . GUDU: Miss mein bataon. Miss: HAAN BATAO... . GUDU: FRENCH KISS MEIN NAAK BEECH MEIN NAHI AATI. ;-) Students Rock!

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31. Teacher: Homework Kyun

Nahi Kiya?
Student: Sir, Light
Nahi Thi
Teacher: To MomBatti Jala
Lete ... Student: Sir, Maachis
Nahi Thi
Teacher: Machis Kyun Nahi
Thi
Student: Pooja Ghar Me
Rakhi Thi. Teacher: To Wahan Se Le
Aate
Student: Nahaya Hua Nahi
Tha
Teacher: Nahaye Kyun Nahi
Thi. Student: Pani Nahi Tha
Sir.
Teacher: Pani Kyu Nahi Tha?
Student: Sir Motor Nahi Chal
Rahi Thi.
Teacher: Ullu Ke Pathe Motor Kyun Nahi Chal Rahi
Thi ?
Student: Sir Bataya
To Ttha Light Nahi Thi :

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32. Angrez darwaza kholne ko hindi me kaise kahega... 

.
.
.
U dnt kw......?
... ... .
.
.Mai batata hu......

Wo kahega "THERE WAS A COLD DAY."

Say ten times khud samajh aa jayega

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33.  Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do. 

Saheb: Kal aana.

Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain.

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34. Pintu Pappu Ki Wedding Main: Are pappu Ye Bhabhi Gumsum Kyun Hai, Koi Muskaan Nahi Hai, Koi Tenshion Hai Kya??

Funny Pappu: Haan Yaar Isne Iske Baap Se Lipistick Laane Ke Liye Kaha Tha, saale Ganje Ne
Fevistick Laakar Pakda Di

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35. Santa-Banta Style of Cheating ;)

..
Santa-Banta cheating krne hi wale the k Teachr agya or pucha:
Tum se peche wale larke ne abi kya pucha? 
Santa:Sir is ne pucha Japan ka capital kya h..
Teachr:
to tum ne bta dya?
Banta:Nai Sir.. Mene isko danta tha k abi to tu ne muje Toka hai mgr ab na "TOKYO":D

Geo CheaterZ!:-P 
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36. Amazing facts bout CID :

1) Daya has d world record 4
breaking the mst no. Of doors
2) C.I.D bureau has 1 tata sumo
since 13 yrs
3) In the entire 20 storey cid
building only 6 people work
4) There is no police in
mumbai,C.I.D handles every case
5) Accused person acepts his
crime only aftr gting a slap on
face from Daya
6) None of the C.I.D officers got
Married
7) People remember the person
they saw once n give exact sketch
8) None of the officers ever got
promotion nt even A.C.P
9) Salunke just pres ctrl n alt n
gets finger prints testd
10) End of episode all criminals
get faasi :D:D

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37. Santa Rocks :) like kar le na ;)

Santa called FM radio &
said:-

I’ve found a purse with
Rs.15000/- a credit card &
... ... an ID card of Mr.Ram new
road, Kathmandu.

Radio Jockey: How honest
so you want to return his
purse?

Santa: no.. I just wanted to
dedicate a sad song for
him...! :D

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38. Teacher:What is half of 8??

Rajnikant:
4
...
Santa:
Depend karta hai agar horizontally aadha karo to '0'
Aur vertically kaato toh '3'.

Santa rocked.
Rajnikant shocked\=D/

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39. *Extraordinarily Khatarnak Student*

Teacher: "Do you know Avogadro's Number"?

Student: "Avogadro Ladka Tha Ya Ladki"?

Teacher: "Ladka"

Student: "Sorry Dude, Mai Ladko Ke Number Nahi Rakhta" ;) :p

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TOP 100 HINDI JOKES 2018 (NEW)

TOP 100 Funny Images 2018 (New*)

40. (kavi ka Beta School Mein =P)

Teacher : What Is N0un??

Student : Arz Karta Hoon...
...
kutta Bhi Hota Hai Apni Gali Mein King...
Wah Wah...

Kutta Bhi Hota Hai Apni Gali Mein King...

Noun Is A Name Of Any Person Place Or Thing!! =p

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41. Santa Rockss ;-) ;-D

Madam:Agr Koi School Ke Samne Bomb Rakh Deta Hai To Kya Karoge?
Santa:1-2 min Dekhenge
.

Agr Koi Le Jata Hai To Theek Hai,Wrna Staff Room Main Rakh Denge!:

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42. Santa Rocks ;-)

Teacher:
Tell the name of Any Microsoft Product?

Sam:
MS Excel

John:
MS Word

Matt:
MS PowerPoint

Santa:
After Thinking a lot:
.
.
.
.
.
“MS Dhoni”

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43. The Best Prank Call Ever:

"Hello KFC?"

- " Yes, How can I help you sir?"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
" I want MACDONALD'S number!!! :-P:-D

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44. Techr-Itni Late Kyu Aye.
Kid-Mummy Papa Me Ladai Ho Gai
Techr-To Late Kyu HuaKid-Mera 1 Juta Mom Ke Hath Me Aur 2sra Papa K Hath Me tha...

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42. Texi Wala-Sir Sorry
Mai Meter Chalu Karna Bhul Gaya
Tha. . !
Ab Kitna Bhada Lu. ?
Santa- Oye Praji Koi Gal Nhi
Maii B Apna Batva Bhul Gaya
Hu. . :D :P

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43. Santa sarab pite pite ro pada..

Banta:: kyun ro rahe ho
.
.
.
.
.
.
Santa:: jise bhulane ke liye pee raha tha uska naam nahi yaad aa raha hai..lol..

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44. Ladka Exam Hall me

pareshan tha
Sir:Kya hua?
Qustn papr
mushkil he?
Boy:
Nahi sir,
main to soch raha hu is qustn ka
ans
kis jeb me hai?

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45. Santa ne exam sheet par SUSU karke teacher ke hath me thama di.

..
Teacher-GADHE ye kya kia.!!!
..
..
Santa.-Sir, apne hi kaha tha pahle jo aa rha he wahi krdo...

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46. Santa jab court se case jeet k aaya to usne wakeel ko bas 1o rupee diye.....
.
.wakeel (Lawyer) gussa ho ke bola-"YE MERE CHAPRASI K LIYE HE KI MERE NAUKAR K LIYE....?????"
.
.
.
.
.....Santa bola-"YE TUM TEENO KE LIYE HAI...

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47. Ek train accident me 100 sardar mar gaye 1 bach gaya !

Reportar ne usse pucha : ye sab kaise hua? 
Sardar : jaise hi anouncement hua ki shatabdi express platform no. 2 par aa rahi hai sab platform se utarkar apni jaan bachane patri par aa gaye, lekin train patri par aa gayi aur sab mar gaye,
Reportar : yani aap samajdar sardar nikle jo patri par nahi utare. 
Sardar : ji nahi me to suicide karne aya tha anouncement sunkar patri se hatkar platform par let gaya tha.

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48. Masoom Dhamki

Ek Chor Chori Kar Ke Ghar Se Jaa Raha Tha.....Ki Bache Ki Aankh Khul Gai........

Bacha : Mera School Bag Bhi Le Ja Varna Shor Macha Dunga......:-P :-D

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49. Santa was lying on beach,

American: R u Relaxing?
Santa:No I m Santa Singh,
Another Amrican: R u relaxing?
Santa: No I m Santa Singh
Another American: R u relaxing?
Santa: No (Shouting)
I m santa Singh >:O
Santa left that
place in anger.
Then Santa asks one American
lying nearby,
R u relaxing?
American: Yes.
Santa slaps him & says,
Kutte sab tujhe dhund rhe
he aur tu yha
pada

hai. :D :D

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TOP 100 HINDI JOKES 2018 (NEW)

TOP 100 Funny Images 2018 (New*)

50.  Why does Bappi Lahiri never cry?

Jab ghar mein pada ho sona, phir kahe ka rona..
=)) 

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